My Life, my destiny~

New Year 2012

2012-01-01T03:30:00.002+08:00

After sleeping for merely 2 hours, I started off my day living it to the fullest, for fear that what I foresee might come true.. I took the opportunity to go breakfast with my parents and nephew, then meeting my brother, and went for my main event of the day, which was to celebrate new year with my hall mates. While there was still time after I left school, I went straight to find my usual group of peeps who happened to be celebrating at woodlands instead.

On the way back home, I took the opportunity to do what I had to do. Finally took the courage to actually give the gift to her, and I'm glad eventually she accepted it. After all, all I want is her to be happy. I know many people called me dumb, but if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have known that I found someone whom I really care and fond of. Never have I met someone whom I can think of so much that I never thought of asking for reciprocation. Not only perfect in my eye, but also someone who made my world perfect, I've nothing more to ask but her happiness. Now that I know she's really been upset, I really hope she'll find someone who deserve her love someday, eventually.

Now, if the prophecy is right, I fear that the day may have come sooner than I thought, when my nightmare will come true and take place. Is there really nothing else that I can do to stop it? Whether or not, I know I'm losing my faith in myself, and I won't want to imagine where I'll ended up the very next moment I get to wake up.

No motivation

2011-11-16T23:57:00.002+08:00

It's almost less than a day before my first paper and I guess this semester would be the worst attempt in my uni life. Couldn't bring myself to focus well and study, especially when I've been haunted by the same nightmare every night. Whether it's too late to turn back or not, I'll just try my best to make do with the rest of the papers and look forward for December instead.

Haven't really got in touch with the rest of my friends, especially those in the university. I know I'll be a burden instead if people know what I'm facing right now, thus I'd prefer to let them just forget me as time passes.

In any case, it's my life that I'm leading right now, I'm solely responsible for whatever I'm doing and what I chose.

Premonition...

2011-11-14T23:49:00.003+08:00

After so long away from this blog, I took the opportunity to read back my journals and got rid of them permanently from here lest it creates misunderstandings.

Anyway, many things have changed. Good stuffs happened such that I'm back on good terms with my secondary school friends since last year, I made new friends from school in NTU, I got my driving license, and I made an attempt to join the volunteer special constabulary scheme.

Exams in 3 days time, I really hope I have enough preparation by then. Couldn't focus well on studies ever since some incidents happened especially when I start seeing "things"... It's something that I had kept within myself for long, and I ain't gonna tell anyone unless they saw this post.

I just wish exams are over soon, I've got lots of unfinished business and most importantly, premonition told me that I had to spend my remaining time wisely with someone who had her days numbered.